


Virtual Identity

by Matsu_Megurine



Series: Some not-mentioned events [1]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Shounen-ai, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 15:30:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8107804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matsu_Megurine/pseuds/Matsu_Megurine
Summary: It has been some time since Orihara Izaya left Ikebukuro for good. But besides his life having changed a lot, he missed something.Then he decided to once again log in on a chat room.... Well, maybe this time, instead of just manipulating other people, 「Kanra」 could find someone how'd unleash more of her(?) human side...





	

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Identidade Virtual](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/230866) by Matsu Megurine (aka myself). 



> Yaaaay, my first fanfic in here!!!  
> Well, sometime after the end of durarara I was thinking about how there could be other things left for Shizuo and Izaya. Then I started to think that probably the only way for them to actually get to know each other was with them not knowing who they are... It's pretty convenient that the whole chat thing already exists in the series XD

Kanra created the chat room  
  
K – Good eveniiing!  
K – Right, there’s gonna take some time till someone shows up...  
K – Guess I’ll just sit and wait  
  
Takeshi joined the room  
  
T – Hello  
K – Hi! Nice to meet you, I’m Kanra-chan!  
T – I’m Takeshi, nice to meet you  
T – I’ve... Never been to this chat room stuff  
K – No problem, I help you get used to it! I used to talk to a lot of people this way.  
T – What happened to these friends of yours? Are they coming here too?  
K – Naaah... Very little probable. There were some misunderstandings, most found it better to just get out of it, you know *snicker*  
T – You seem to have dealt with it pretty well...  
K – I’ve never been the kind who gets attached to people. Actually, I think they’re the ones who are suffering without me.  
K – But this is unimportant. What about we talking about what we like to get to know each other better, Takeshi-kun?  
T – What I like? Hmm... Candies *laughs*  
T – Your turn  
K – Aaaawwww..... I don’t like sweet things so much, dunno, I get easily sick of them  
K – But maybe that’s because nobody’s ever given me one that’s good enough *giggles*  
T – I... Don’t know what to say. I’m not that good with introductions.   
K – So let’s not think of it as an introduction. Pretend we’re already good friends, how does it sound, Takeshi-kun?  
T – But we don’t know a thing about each other  
K – Even so. I think it’s way easier to know someone when you’re treating them casually  
K – When people meet each other for the first time, they care too much about “making a good impression” and forget to be themselves   
K – Enjoy now that I’m being nice and offering you my thoughts for free   
T – Yeah... I think you might be right  
K – Of course I’m right u.u  
T – So... What did you do today, Kanra?  
K – Call me Ka-n-ra-chan  
T - *sigh* ... Kanra-chan?  
K – I spent the day talking to boring people. Some guys in suits wanted me to work for them, but I don’t think I’d bear it   
T – You work alone?  
K – Uhum~ I appreciate don’t having a boss to control everything I do. I prefer to act independently  
K – What do you work with? Or you’re going to say you’re still on school? *smirk*  
T – I thought we’re supposed to “already know each other”, so don’t ask me where I work  
K – How mean! You did it first though  
T – It was a moment of distraction...  
K – Okaaay ¬¬ But, then how was your day?  
T – Honestly, nothing much. Since a couple months ago everything has been kinda frozen...  
T – I mean, I like living my life peacefully, but...   
T – Everything was so fucking full of life that now it’s like the city is dead.  
K – I know how you feel. Recently I had to move due to a lot of crazy things that happened... Then suddenly it was like life itself had stopped  
K – Guess I like a non-ordinary life better  
T – Seriously? Why?  
K – Ah, when everything’s “in place” it gets boring, don’t you think? Life needs surprises, even if it’s not only good things all the time, to be truly exciting!  
T – Looks like we think very different...  
T – To tell you the truth, I never talked to someone about this kind of thing  
K – Most people don’t, so don’t feel any special because of that  
T – You sound like you have already tried to talk to several people   
T – Several times  
K – Does it though? Hmm, I suppose I had  
T – Do you... Need to someone to talk to, don’t you, Kanra-chan?  
K – Pffft... Don’t say it like you pity me  
T – I don’t pity you for whatever it is that brought you here. But I think the reason is that you want some company, isn’t it?  
  
[...]  
  
Takeshi joined the room  
  
L – Hello, Takeshi-kun  
A – Hiiiii  
K – Good eveniiing!  
T – Good evening, everyone  
K – How’s your day, Takeshi-kun?  
T – A friend who lives abroad came back to the town. I went to catch her on the airport and we strolled around a bit.  
K – A “her”, isn’t it?  
A – TAKESHI-KUN HAS A GIIIIRLFRIIIEEEEEND  
T – She’s not my girlfriend. We used to work together but she had to go back to her homeland, so we hadn’t see eachother in some time.  
L – As if it stopped you from dating~  
A – So is she a foreigner?  
L – Where do you live, Takeshi-kun?  
K – Heeeeey! It’s not appropriated to ask personal questions! Or there would be no point in using nicknames  
L – Just curious, not my fault  
A – But this way it’s more exciting, right? I mean, we speak to one another on a daily basis but still we don’t know if one of us might have been arrested for murdering someone!  
L – You’re weird *giggles* But there really is something of exciting in being anonymous. Do you think we’ll ever get to see each other faces?   
K – Maybe we already have and don’t know  
A – Waaaah ;^; I gotta go.... I’ll have to wake up early tomorrow  
L – Oh my... I hadn’t realize it was this late!  
L – Good night, guys, see you  
A – Byeee!  
  
Louise left the room  
  
Angel left the room  
  
T – Wheat were you talking about before?  
K – Honestly? Nothing so special. I think they were already friends since a lot before they came here  
T – Hmm... So what about you, any news?  
K – I always got news! U.U  
T – Sure... *smirk*  
K – I saw a man almost killing someone on my way back home today  
T – Really? Could you guess why?  
K – I think the person owed him money, for what I could heard from them talking. I realized he had a knife in his belt, But the other didn’t see it and was trying to resist...  
T – You see things like that? You’re pretty clever, aren’t you  
K – There’re a lot of interesting things about me ;)  
K – Anyway, it could’ve grow to na ugly mess, but the police was passing by and the attacker ran away scared to hell hahahaha I guess he wasn’t ready for anything serious in the end  
T – I think he deserved to be caught  
K – Naaaah, he did nothing but some psychological terror afterall  
T – Even so, he had no right to do this. I hate this kind of people...  
K – Criminals?  
T – Not exactly. There are people who think they can do whatever they want to the others, who don’t care about what’s right and whose lives seem to only revolve around being a pain in the ass!  
K – You say it like it’s personal...  
T – Everyone met once or twice someone they knew it was up to no good.  
K – How do you know they’re up to no good? *laughs* Maybe they just had their reasons, no?  
T – You don’t understand  
T – There are people... It wouldn’t help you thinking of a reason for them... Perhaps this person wouldn’t even care about one  
T – I think there’re people who are glad to crash other people’s lives   
K – I won’t say I agree with you. I think people are to much complex to be uniquely “bad”, you know....  
K – Allow me to say, it could just be you who didn’t understand that someone...  
K – But I find it amusing how you seem to hate them this much  
T - ... Define amusing...  
K – Ah, it’s never so simple as a “he cursed me” or “she bumped me” to create something so strong, is it?  
K – I mean, there are people who hurt the others, who despise them... But to be something deeper... It requires a little more veracity into this feeling, don’t you think~?  
T – You talk pretty... How old did you say you were?  
K – You too?! Don’t you remember the deal? Not a word about our identities!   
T – Okay, okay, I won’t ask again...  
K – Then what? Won’t you tell me what happened between you and this person you hate so much?  
T – Hmmm.... No  
T – It’s only this my and this person’s business. Eitherway it’s past now, one could say.  
K – Why?  
T – Geez, you ask so many questions!  
K – Sorry I can’t help *giggle*  
T – Just forget it. There’s someone I hate, yet some things happened that made me don’t have to think about it anymore  
K – Looks like you still think~  
T – Would you stop it? ¬¬ Just change the fucking subject!   
K – I MADE IT  
T – What?  
K – You used emoji *giggles*  
K – It means we’re not strangers anymore XD  
T – Of course we’re not, do you know how many weeks has it been since we met?   
K – It’s not what I meant... You seem to be, hmm, loosening yourself. That’s cool. I like when I feel I’m gaining someone’s trust *smiles*  
T – You’re easy-going enough for it not be a problem...  
K – Pffft... People don’t tend to like being so close to me   
T – Because you’re annoying?  
K – How mean. And no. I guess people think I’m not to be trusted actually...  
T – Do you give them reasons for them to think like that?  
K – I’m just myself...  
T – Right, but I don’t know you in real life, so the question remains.  
K – Hmm... I’m not like here... Kinda difficult to explain.  
T - ... I think it’s not possible for you to be so different as you’re in here. I don’t think a person can stop themself to show some personality traits...  
K – I couldn’t agree more!  
T – And I gotta say, I like your, hmm, personality traits  
K – Since when you try to pick me up? I thought you already had a girlfriend  
T – I don’t. And that was not a pick up line  
K – Freud used to say everything revolves around sex... Therefore it probably was a pick up line even if you wouldn’t admit it~  
T – You idiot...  
T – I don’t like these things... People who are said to be specialists name everyone else according to patterns themselves came up with from god-knows-where  
K – ... As if we’re so simple we could be understood with a superficial diagnosis...  
T – Exactly. It’s ridiculous to actually try to understand someone like that!   
K – What do you mean?  
T – Well, to really understand someone, you gotta interact! It won’t do, if a doctor hear you talking a lot of crappie wouldn’t even know how much of it is true...   
K – So it’s not possible to understand the humans~?  
T – I think you do. But only a friend could describe you for sure.   
K - ... Interesting...  
T - ... Errh, I mean, a friend can read you without you even have to open your mouth, right?  
K – I suppose.  
T – You’re on defense mode again... Anything wrong?   
K - ... Again?  
T – You do it when you’re trying to figure what I’m thinking out but still didn’t get all of the ideas   
T – It’s funny, it’s like you’re trying to get inside my head but, dunno, in a way that doesnt look like an attack, you know  
K – How would it look like na attack, Takeshi-kun?  
T – It’s kinda hard to explain, I guess..It pisses me off when people try to force me into something, be it an action or a reaction  
T – I mean, it’s a bore when you just want a little peace and people start to mess around with you...   
K – Why do you presume they’re messing with you? Maybe they just want to make company to you? *crackles*   
T – This kind of thing... You feel it, I guess. There’re people who really are not in the world to be nice to you  
K – M-e-a-n  
T – If you’re gonna call me mean, I’m gonna call you na utopist   
K – Me? *smirks*  
T – You try to show up you’re too much of an optimist in order to believe in the good things life can bring   
K – Huh?  
T – You’re not that optimist... You just want to believe there are good things out there  
K – Who are you to go and say something like this about me? *puffs cheeks*   
T – What, aren’t we, like, being friends to each other?   
T – I said it, there are things you only get it with interaction...   
K – You’re a moron  
K – But I find it somewhat fascinating.......  
K - .........  
T - ?  
K – Forget it  
T – You know, I sometimes feel like I'm on a monologue.... Why do I have to talk bout myself and you do is listen and never talk about your own self, eh, Ka-n-ra-cha-n?  
K – Why do you mind?  
K - ......... You understand too much already anyway ¬¬  
T – Can’t I want more?   
K – Someday maybe... Who knows, maybe someday we’ll get to see each other? Then well compensate everything  
T – Are you proposing a real life meeting, ms Let’s-keep-it-anonymous?   
K – Nooooooooooooo, not now!  
K – All I say is that, to know everything, only when we get to see each other   
K – Until then, it’s fine like this :3  
T – Someday I’ll manage to get you out of this box you live in *chuckles*  
K – This will take long u.u I hold no interest in getting out   
T – You really think you can learn and experience every single thing you want in your life all by yourself in there? Chat rooms are not the same as some fresh air, you know?  
K – *Sticks tongue* moron Takeshi-kun  
T – Hahahahaha  
K – XD  
T – You really wont talk about yourself again, will you?  
K – Nope  
  
[...]  
  
T – Hey. You’re in there?  
K – Good eveniiiing XD  
K – What was it?  
T – Hmm.... Nothing really  
T – But you’re the only one I talk to, so   
T – I mean, actually talk to   
T – Without all the small talk sillies....  
K – I’m flattered  
T – Don’t get to full of yourself  
K – *giggles* Are you feeling bored?  
T – I think so  
K – I told you that living a fired-up life was way more fun than habing the same routine being repeated  
T – I guess that’s how life is, right? I learn some things with you and you learn some other ones with me   
K – Who said theres something I’ve learnt with you that I still did not know? u.u  
T – I can see it, you know   
T – This wall thing you build so nothing can hit you   
K – What, now you’re gonna say I’m the frail type?  
T – No. Still there’s no one who’d not let themself be dragged a little... Coldness and iimpartiality aren’t so much of human characteristics  
K – I’ve met a couple of pretty cold people...  
T – Me too, but... I think people get colder because they had too much pain with their feelings, so they think they can go ahead and hide them...  
K – So what? Nobody’s really cold?  
T – Whatever. I just think that this hasn’t so much to do with being human, don’t you think?  
K – Hmm... Because humans are too sentimental and romantic?   
T – Not everyone of us are romantic   
K – It’s not what I meant... Everyone has something that can leave them emotional, right? It’s normal to fall in love, except that most only remember the love between two people   
T – And you mean what? To fall in love for a thing?   
K – Uh-uh. For moments. Sensations...   
K – But yeah, also for people *giggles*  
T – Hmm... I guess it’s part of the whole picture thing... We have things in life which make us enjoy being here... Otheerwise life seems a bit empty   
K – What do you live for, Takeshi-kun?  
T – ....  
T – Nowadays I guess it’s to try to have a good life with my friends   
K – It seems like a pretty modest wish....   
T – Why? What do you live for, then?   
K – I...  
K – I think I’m trying to correct some things... I did some stuff in the past that... Most people did not see with good eyes  
K – Some stuff showed me I couldn’t keep being like that   
K – I know it’s never gonna be possible to make everything up with everyone and I won’t try to do it either but... I think I got a little stucked up with this ideology because of someone   
K – And this person would not forgive if it was any different *smirks*  
T – Wow... Thanks   
K – What for?  
T – For having... Finally spoken to me.   
T – You once said that you were happy when I started to loose myself. And I feel the same about you deciding to do the same   
K – It’s all a matter os trust, isn’t it?   
T – Yeah. And it seems like this was... Pretty personal   
T – Aren’t you afraid that someone might read this conversation later? I get it that you don’t talk this much to anyone  
K – There’s nothing to worry about. The girls are not coming back. I asked them not to come to this chat anymore   
T – Seriously? Why?  
K – ‘Cause I prefer to have more privacy  
T – Then you really trust me, huh  
T – Did you ever lied in here?  
K – About my identity. But you already know that.   
K – And you?  
T – I’m not the type who lies easily, so that’s a no.   
K – I’m glad ^^  
T – May I ask you something? This person you talked about... Why was they the reason why you changed? Was it your boyfriend?  
K – No, no lmao actually we hate each other’s guts. He’d hunt me and kill me if he ever found I wasn’t walking on the line lol  
T – *Ironic* You seem to have a troubled past, Kanra-chan...   
K – You have no idea, Takeshi-kun *giggles*  
T – This thing with this guy... Was it the same one that set you apart from your friends?   
K – Hmm.... It has to do with it, yet not exactly  
K – Anyway, it’s complicated =P  
T – I’d love to hear the whole story someday   
K – You’re a good listener, so maybe I’ll tell you ;)  
K – However not now...  
T – Don’t wanna talk?   
K – No. I’m just sleepy actually   
K – Good night, Takeshi-kun *sends kiss*  
  
[...]  
  
T - Kanra-chan...  
T – I know you’re seeing this.  
T – You always are  
K – Oh, hey  
T – What happened?  
K – Huh? Nothing  
K – I didn’t see your messages  
T – You liar  
K – What?  
T – .....  
K – Actually  
T - ?  
K – Forget it....  
K – I don’t know how to say it  
T – You don’t look ok  
K - *smirks* I’m not  
T – Then talk  
K – ...........  
T – Please  
K – We can’t talk anymore  
T – ... What?  
K – I did something I should not.... And..... I can not talk to you anymore   
T – This makes no sense   
T – I don’t care about what you did. It can’t be this harsh that makes me agree with this  
K – ......  
T – I dont want to stop talking to you  
K – You’d take back what you said if you get it   
K – I’m sorry  
K – I’m a terrible person  
T – Kanra....  
T – What happened?  
K – Takeshi-kun..... I can’t tell you  
K – I.... Messed up everything to me  
K – I don’t wanna do the same to you too  
T – Hey  
T – I don’t wanna see you so sad  
T – If only I there’s something I can do  
K – You can’t!  
K – And you won’t have to see me, so nevermind  
T – You know.... That was really cruel  
K – I had planned to just... Disappear  
K – But I found that you deserved at least a proper good-bye  
T – I want to understand what’s going on  
T – I don’t wanna force anyone to tell something they don’t want, but... If you’re leaving, it concerns me too!  
K – Yeah...  
T – So....?  
K - .....  
K – I..... Found out who you are  
T – What the hero are you talking about?  
K –I.... I had to be sure  
K – But this means I can not get involved with you any longer  
T – You..... Know me?  
K – I want to be only Kanra to you  
K – And that's why we have to say goodbye   
T – I.... Hurted you or did something wrong?  
K – I can't tell you anything else  
K – Sorry  
T – Kanra  
T – Wait!  
  
Kanra left the room  


* * *

  
Orihara Izaya closed the window containing the chat. He could not show himself around there again, otherwise everything would go wrong. He stared at the computer in front of him. To target someone who didn’t even cared about doing a better cryptography was child’s play, specially when one also had aditional informations. He had forgotten how easy it was. He managed to take the lead, unveiled Takeshi’s identity besides having gaining his trust.  
“Trust, huh...”  
Then why was he feeling as he couldn’t continue? It’d be so simple to manipulate him... He’d be by his feet in no time if he decided to put one or to ideas in his mind. But he could not. Something deep inside him said this was wrong,  
“Wrong? ... I never believed in this word. ”  
that if he kept moving ahead he’d fail. Yes... Had he continued, He’d be the one to lose it all. The hardest he tried to find a way out, it was already game over since long ago. Then, not caring about the why, he started to laugh.  
He laughed hard and loud, until his muscles hurted and he felt his eyes wet. It was funny, wasn’t it? In the end, he was able to feel human... And he was laughing because said humanity didn’t come from his geniality, but from the neglect that left him bind to someone.  
“That’s what it means to have feelings, isn’t it?”  
The tears slowly withered the smile, yet the misfortune still sounded somehow laughable. The human he became could never kill a monster.  
\- Shizu-chan... Why can’t I win against you?

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it ^^ I'm sorry if there have been any mistakes be it in grammar or spelling or whatever. Please let me know if that happened!  
> I really enjoyed writing this *-* despite not exactly shipping shizaya/izuo on canonverse, I have a couple ideas and headcanons about them lol  
> (Btw, figuring out Shizuo's nickname was fun XD the last kanji from his name, though sounds like "o" in his name, can be read as "takeshi" when alone, or so my researches told me haha also I found it a cool name e.e)


End file.
